Twist of Fate
by Fulllmetal Tears
Summary: Everything was going great for Ritsuka and Soubi...that is untill Seimie returned. And now Ritsuka is having trouble even remembering Soubi's name. We Seimie win back his baby brother...or will Ritsuka and Soubi's love for each other save them. M for futu
1. Sleepless

**Disclaimer: I don't own and never will own Loveless...this story was just a spur of the moment thing go big and its also my first be nice please...R&R. Thankies.**

**Loveless**

**Twist of Fate**

**Proloug**

What is love? What does it mean to be loved? What does it mean to love back? What is love? Is it a feeling, an emotion? Is it a state of being? What is love? Is it something to live for or something to die for? People live and die for love everyday. As illogical as it seems. People are blinded by this sensation called love. To be loved now is wrong because I am not me. I am not the same person I was two years ago or more actually eight years, before he left before Seimi died. I was never the same again, I couldn't be how could anyone go back to living their daily lives when someone you love dies. Then two years later there was him, Soubi, the first day I meant him I was twelve and he was nineteen, I was sulking in my depression he was drowning in his. The first day I meant him, that was the first day he kissed me, the first day he said those words to me..._'I Love You.'_ I was afraid at first. He was an adult he had no ears, but he had been a friend of my brothers. Hes a liar and a pedophile and everything else rotten under the sun, and hes mine. Its been six years sense the first day I meant Soubi, I'm now eighteen and hes twentyfive. And still I ask myself these questions of love...I know I love Soubi but am I _in love_ with him.

**Chapter 1**

**Sleepless**

A soft touch awakens me from my deep slumber. I am always sleeping latter than Soubi thinks I should, he always says its not healthy, not that he would know what healthy was, when I was younger he would always fight by himself, never thinking that it could get him killed. I think back then Soubi didn't believe in death...well not so much as he _didn't_ believe in than he didn't _want_ to believ in it...hell neither did I. But I knew it could happen every time I went home there was a possability that I wouldn't walk back out of that house. My mother was violent, she was more or less physchotic. She was always yelling throwing and smashing pates and glasses vasess and all other assortment of nice things. She wanted Ritsuka back, her son, but she couldn't he had died with Seimi. Again there is a hand on my ears...yes I still have my ears, I've not laid with Soubi, though I must say I've always...well not always...but I've imagened in my head before what kind of lover he would be...I've always liked the out come. The shaking is getting a bit more frantic now, Soubi always thinks I'm dead when I don't get up. Giving a small sigh I stretch, my body shakes from the strain and I open an eye to look at Soubi, who is smiling.

"I was worried that you were not going to get up Ritsuka, I left earlier this morning around ten and I when I came back you were still sleeping soundly its now four in the afternoon." He smiled bending down an giving me a small kiss on the lips before walking off towards the kitchen. I sat up a small bit befudeled, I knew I was a late sleeper but I had never slept this late. Soubi came back carrying two glasses of tea, I took mine and sat it beside the bed, I would drink it after I went to the bathroom. Getting up though I would find to be a mistake as soon as I got up I came back down, well I would've if there wasn't suddenly a strong pair of arms around me.I looked up at Soubi who was looking at me, a very worried expression on his face. Then I suddenly remembered what had happened last night, there was a fight, and...to say the least I got a good bit beaten up. He led me to the bathroom and then put me back in the bed. I wasn't a fighter so I coulnd't heal the wounds I received quickly. I don't remember how much damages I sustained during the battle, though now it seems it was a lot. Soubi was there though he knew...though odds are he won't tell me, I can see he was injured pretty badly too. There are bandages all over his arms and some on his face. But he wouldn't tell me what had happened that was the only really annoying thing about him...all the secrets he kept.

"Are you ok Ritsuka?" He asked me almost forcing me to lay back down. Hes so damn annoying, but I knew he was only worried about me. I just didn't remember. I hated that I couldn't remember because that usally meant that I had fainted. Which always made me feel bad. I just whish Soubi would tell me, he was always worried about me, I had grown as a sacrifice so to faint now the battle must have been really bad. I sighed my hands were becomeing blurry...tears...I hate tears, I hate it when I cry, and I hate it even more when Soubi sees me though he usally doesn't. I don't let him, but the tears are here and Soubi is here sitting beside me not saying a word...its then I relieze that I haven't answered his question. I can't, because I can't lie to him and say yes when I'm not ok, but I just can't say I'm not alright and cause him to worry even more, I think he takes the now silent fallen tears and my silence as his answer. He sits his tea cup to the side and sits on the bed. Words are not needed he knows and thats all. He takes me in his arms and everything is gone, only he is there. And durning this moment I asked him what happened, he looks at me and there is something in his eyes that I have not seen in such a long time; fear...that only worries me more.

"I really shoudn't say...not right now atleast, after you have rested, you need it you had a hard time, I will say that the battle was something feirce and that we are both very lucky to be alive." Well there was some promise in those words not much but some, and at this moment in time that was all that I could hope for. I slowly raised my bandaged hand to his face. There were cuts and scrapes all over it and a red mark on his neck that was the symbol of a restraint, he really didn't get restrained that often anymore, I usally took the bulk of the challange, this had to have been bad for him to also be restrained. His eyes closed at my soft touch and a tired sigh escaped from his lips, it was then I saw just how exhausted he really was. There were bold dark circles under his eyes and even to me it looked like he was about to collapse from exhaustion. Never a good sign I would know. I scooted over in the bed and, with a little resistance and complants from him, I finally got Soubi to lie down.Useing what litle energy I had left and calling on my last reserves of strength I pulled off his shoes and his shirt took down his hair and covered him up. As soon as he was comfertable he was asleep dead to the world nothing could wake up right now though that was just as well with me. He might not know it but when he sleeps he looks like an angel even more than he does when he is awake. His peacful face and steady breathing captivate me, he might consider me his master but I am his captive.

It wasn't always like that, there were times back when I first meant him that I was so cruel that I could kick myself now.Though he would proablly not approve of such a thing and would lecture me about how it was bad to harm ones self. I've had that lecture from him before not a fun one.But now that I'm more mature and more understanding of Soubi, I could never bring myself to be cruel to him. If I ever was I think I would litteraly die. Sighing I run my hand through his hair, my fingers get caught in a tangle and I brush it out the best I can while useing my hand. Agotsuma Soubi, a sinner to the world and to me perfect in almost every way (remember pedophile). He always goes on about how he wants to protect me, if he only knew how often I thought the same thing. Yeah he might think that he doesn't need to be protected, but he does, to me hes just so fragile sometimes. Hes like a porcealn doll ready to break at any moment. I love this man, despite how the world sees it I love him with every fiber of my being I love him.

"Soubi I love you so very much." I say sleep heavy on my eyes and in my voice. My love for this man is rivaled by nothing. Actually once we had a conversation about my brother Seimi because I thought my love for my brother was the only thing that could out weigh my love for Soubi. I asked Soubi while we were relaxing one day what kind of master my brother was. And something happened that didn't normally happen during these small conversations. Soubi's head was removed form my lap and his eyes locked with mine as though asking 'Are you serious, do you want to know'.I did want to know I had heard diffrent storys, that Seimi was good and kind and that he was harsh and all that other stuff. Giving a soft sad sigh Soubi lay his head back down in my lap. _"I will tell you the truth Ritsuka, though the truth is harsh and you more than likely won't like it...Mas...I mean Seimi was not at all a kind master, he was very harsh and very strict. And though many may consider me a masochist, that is only on the physical level, I in no way enjoy emotional pain of any kind, and that was Seimi's favourite pain to inflict. It came with the punches and slaps that I would get and it would hurt one hundered times more that those physical mistreatments. But I loved your brother, and I would do anything for him, so I suffered through the pain and when he died a part of me died...though it came back when I found you. I always knew Seimi as being harsh, but whenever I would watch him with you, or when he would speak of you, his voice was so gentel and his actions so kind and loveing, that I would always think that there was no way in heaven or hell that this could be the man that constantly tormented me. I would fall in love all over again."_ When he had finished I was in shock, it was scary to think of my brother as someone who would ententioanlly

harm another. It had made me sick to my stomache and I often thought about how hard it must have been for Soubi to come to me. I look so much like Seimi that Soubi had to have dark thoughts every now and then. Thoughts like...'will Ritsuka turn out to be a harsh master as well.' Well I would have to show him that I would never be like

my brother, I would never hurt him intentionally...never. A bit bored I grab my notebook and start writing...I like to write poetry, I might not be able to draw, but a drawing is absolute, once a picture is drawn and compleated it leaves no room alteration no room for anything to change, with a poem your imagination can take you where you can see only what you want to see, with a poem nothing but the words are conrete. The words sometimes come hard and sometimes they flow out of me like a waterfall. Like now and I can feel my eye lids start to get heavy I'm drifting off but I haven't finished writing yet. The world turns black as I fall asleep lulled by Soubi's soft breathing my head falls on his bare chest and I'm swept away to dream land to a world were its just me and Soubi and nothing can touch us nothing can hurt us. It another world were I can be there for him. He is human to.

Soubi's POV

I awoke suddenly, and for a moment I didn't know where I was, it was dark and the clock to my left read twelve in the morning. I was contemplating getting up and getting something to drink but there was a weight on my chest looking down I saw Ritsuka fast asleep on me. He must've fallen asleep not long after I had. I smile and run a hand lightly over his ears...so kawii. A smuged fallen angel, a young boy who bleeds just as easily as I do. During the early years I wanted nothing more than to protect him, and I kept failing over and over again. But at a moment like this when I can hold him so securly to me, it almost makes up for all those time that he was hurt. Nothing ever will entirely make up for it but Ritsuka doesn't seem to care. Even if that is the case I care. And I want to make up for it in anyway that I can. In times like these I fall even more in love with my little master.

Loveless, I think to myself. What a cruel name. I know for a fact that my master is capable of loveing another, but it was his destiny not to...a destiny that I worked hard everyday to help the young man avoid. He did nothing to deserve not to be loved. Before me, Ritsuka said that Seimi was the only one who ever loved him. The thought of Seimi being able to love is foreign to me. Foreign painful thoughts of all I gave to my master...NO! Ritsuka is my master now. Not Seimi. Glancing around the room I noticed a smallnote book lieing wide open...it was Ritsuka's poetry book picking it up I noticed a small poem and at the top in fancy english was 'Blood Tears'I smiled Ritsuka was unbelievable writer, at times I envyed him, you can only potray so much through a picture or a painting but with words there are a thousand possiabiliteis. I slowly read the beautiful words. The more I read the more I wanted to read. I flipped to the first page that had 'To Soubi' on it and began to read. .

_Blood Tears_

It always hurts at first, as it tears

the ripping sound like music to my ears.

Stare as the blood drops form, like tears, red red tears

more and more, slashing

in every open spot and then you stop

Stare in disbeleif as you regain your senses

blood covering and burning always burning

Never stops never ends.

The burning like fire

posion thorns of hell's desire.

The burning and now the tears.

The blood and now your fears.

Cover cover hold them tight, keep

away from prying eyes.

Fake a smile hide a sigh living your daily lie.

And then at night take up your knife, cut away

the days strifes. Smile, smile as blood tears form,

Blood tears runnng down your arm,

as you prepare for the burning and the sighs.

And now your learning. Smell the blood,

smell the fears taste the collecion of bitter tears...run

faster faster the knifes your master.

Can't get away, wanna get away.

Searching, searching always searching for a way

to ease the burning your knife was forged in hells fire.

The desire...more than you can bear.

So take up your mask write out your lies, hide your face

from prying eyes. Smile some more they'll never know.

Your arms cry blood tears, and your heart burns.

I was in awe it was beautiful the words, they were all beatiful silenty I turned the page. And continued to read...

Distortion

Looking in a mirror staring at the monster infront of me;

this monster that is a diformity...that is me.  
Can't stand this thing I've become

Can't stand the thing I was.

Forever haunted as a fleeting memory

Numb fingers stretching, searching,

for a sign of perfection, the feel of a bone.

The call of a tear from some place unknown.

The sigh of an angel as it falls from grace,

to this worldly hell bound place.

Cold skin cold as night, under the torturous

blade of the knife.

Under the knife, under my mind

In the mid-night sky the tourtures of pain.

The shreik of a demon, cold down my spine.

The knowledge of sin, of pain for all time.

Of payment for wrong things,

I've never done.

Now I feel the wrath I've set upon myself.

Nothing sweeter than self-inflicted pain.

Starving, but I feel nothing, not the want that I should.

I'm withering now, a mere corpse in the ground.

But you'll not see me, cos no one can see me now.

Paper thin, wasted away.

A monster still that lives in me.

Nothing now.

And you can't see, see the thing

That I'll always be.

Alone in the world only I live in.

And you'll never see me.

I can't breath, I'm drowing in the air.

Some one pick me up get me out of here.

This wasted corpse, in un-holy ground

never wanting to be found.

Some part of the sanity

That still dwells within me,

Screaming for a chance

to live among the living.

Small and frail,

fragile and free,

free only from the things

that comfort me.

The wrath of the Gods, as my body withers away.

The sweet, sweet pain,

And feeling of dismay.

Nothing now can save me, cos theres nothing wrong.

I've become what I wanted,

What I despise.

You can't understand;

And I don't expect you to.

The feeling of freedom, when flesh touches bone.

The emptiness inside of me, only

grows.

There is no pain, cos I feel nothing now.

My hollow body, never to be found.

You don't see

I don't want you to understand me.

There are things that you don't need to know.

But I can't feel what I've done.

Flesh bound tight, this demon of night.

Secret disgueis, a facade

and lies.

Hiding from you what

you never knew.

What you never saw.

Did you guess that maybe it was this way.

Did you notcie anything.

Are you blind.

Cause you couldn't see me changing.

You always said you cared for me

you went as far as loving me.

But you couldn't see me dieing

I don't think you cared for me like you said you did.

And I know you lied to me.

Theres is nothing you can do

To save me now

And I know you can see me leaving.

Cause I'm so tired of living.

Tired of being the one you'll never see.

Tired of you never being there.

I live my life in fear.

Can you see now,

The open wounds cut deep in my flesh.

Bleeding freely,

nothing can stop it now

This is the way its going to be now.

I've ended it, cause you were

wearing me down anyway.

I withered away

and you never saw

cause you were blinded

to what was me.  
Do you mourn now that I am gone

Do you laugh and my being so weak?

Cause as I sit here deep in hell,

I'm laughing at you,

you see.

Cause I knew that I would someday be free.

And though my body weighed in at ninty-five pounds,

at the gates of hell.

You would never see it,

no you would never see

what it was that you had done to me.

Agony and Ecstasy pain and pleasure at the same time both of these things were poured into the words on this paper I could barely breath as I turned the next page and the next untill I came to the end...each word stole my breath.

_Her son_

Laughter gave way to silence unable to rise above the sickening

sound of a knife tearing through flesh and agonizing screams.

And then there was nothing, nothing could shatter

that over whelming, deafening silence that tore at my heart like a monster at its cage.

Time was frozen and my heart with it.

My blood was as cold as Ice.

Nothing could I feel anymore, a slow agonizing death of my spirit raged through me,

like a wildfire spreading through a summer dry forest.

Death was coming on swift demon wings to claim my bloody stained heart.

The knife dropped to the floor next to the hand I had torn it from, the woman lie there in death in agony, I had killed

her as she had tried to kill me many times before.

I had killed the one who once held me so dearly, her death on my hands.

Her throat was an open wound gushing forth the blood like a red syrup waterfall.

Nothing could justify what I had done.

Her life ended by me, her son.

_Memory_

And the memory of his kiss,

always in my mind

every second of every day

every miserable day of my life.

Burning and I can't stop these tears from flowing.

Its kinda funny now. Its my fault I lost him.

And I hate myself even more for ever thinking

I could get him back.

'Memory' was the last thing that was in the notebook or so I though, my heart was having trouble beating, these poems were painful and beautiful but what I saw next tore me up. It was I page that was not a poem it was just his thoughts on the poem Her Son. That one I have to admit was a bit disturbing. It read '_I don't know why I wrote that poem, Her son, it was just something off the top of my mind, maybe somewhere deep inside of me I had always imagined killing my mother because of what she did to me, but now that I think about it I know I would never be able to. I love her so much, I guess I'm just writing this to make myself feel better whatever'_.

The young man portrayed his feelings through his pen as I did my brush. I can write poetry but I don't have a muse for it like Ritsuka does. The young man on my chest gave a small whimpering sound I looked down at my little lover, his face was contorted with what looked like the manifestation of a nightmare. His brow was crumpled and there was a deep frown set upon his features. I watched for a sign that would indicate that I should wake Ritsuka up, and it came the younger man cried out my name in intense pain, longing and begging.Startled I couldn't move and Ritsuka sat up looking around the room in relief that he was here and not where ever the dream world had taken him. His eyes settled on the me still statled and lunged at me. I held him and while I did I felt something wet covering my bare skin. I looked down sure enough Ritsuka was crying but he was also bleeding from a large wound that complety covered his neck. I grabbed the small towl by the bed and wiped off the blood what I saw next terrified me. Around my young masters neck was the thorns that also covered my neck the thorns that Seimi had carved there himself. This was a bad omen, it had to be. Ritsuka had stopped crying and I lifted his face up. Asking a silent question but doubting I would get an answer, I wanted to know what the dream had been about but if my suspicions were accurate then Ritsuka would not remember. And he didn't he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. All I could do was smile sadly and hold him tight to me. If this was what I thought it was this was going to be bad. Ritsuka had stopped shakeing by now and was now trying to collect his thought. I knew it was disorenting, I suddenly felt glad he had already graduated it would be hard to explain this.


	2. Heartless

**Chapter 2**

**Heartless**

An older looking man holding the hand of a younger looking man glanced at the small studio, he knew the people in there though only one of them really knew him the other just had heard of him. The cool Febuary air blew through the older mans silver hair causing it to obsucre his face. A hand tightened on his and he looked down at the younger man. His shaggy black hair fell down a face almost as emotionless and cruel as his heart. But the older man knew that there was love in his lover. Love for him no matter how twisted it was. A pair of old ladies walked by them murmering and glancing there way shakeing their heads. The younger one smirked how much pleasure he derived from the pain and fear of others was almost unbelievable.

Soubi's POV

I awoke very suddenly as though there were dark eyes watching me, but there was no one...no one? Where was my Ritsuka, I glanced down at the table at a small note;_ I'll be back soon I went to the store to get some things for dinner, you rest if your not in bed when I get back you WILL be punished!_ I laughed but thought it better to just lie down...or lie back down cause I have to use the bathroom or I'll bust. What time is it, I looked at the clock but it was turned off...odd, maybe Ritsuka couldn't fing the snooze button and just pulled the cord out. I pulled out my cell phone it was almost five. Odd agian all kinds of strange things happening today, I never sleep late thats always Ritsuka...all well enjoy the down time, I chided myself. I felt myself sliping into a light doze, am I really so exahusted? The world turned black as sleep claimed me.

Ritsuka's Pov

As much as I tried to deny it I had this strange feeling someone was following me I could faintly feel a battle system as though they were taunting me bacause they knew my fighter was not with me. It was starting to get annoying though...really. As I turned the next corner I felt a hand over my mouth pulling me into the alley way. I struggled untill a fist conected with my gut, looking up there were cold eyes staring into mine, cold blue eyes that chilled me to the bones. The more I tried to get away the tighter the hands on my mouth and hands became the more painful. The man with the cold eyes removed the badages from my neck that Soubi had put there the night before. His hand as cold as his eyes ran over the scabs on the marks that, even though they were new to my body, they were not new to my mind. I pulled away frightened my heart racing and my mind calling for Soubi, tears slowly forming in my eyes from the pain.

"Be quite Loveless and we won't kill you, this is to mearly see if the dream had worked." He said his voice was like snake venom coursing through my veins. My voice seemed to become brave suddenly.

"If Soubi finds out what your doing he'll kill you all!" My mind was yelling for my mouth to shut up but it wouldn't listen. The cold man laughed it was sharp and harsh and slapped me across te cheak. It stung I knew from years with my mother that it was already begining to bruise.

"You think Beloved will save you...you are Loveless, one without love, you can not love, it is against your destiny and you will fulfill your destiny. That is a part of life deal with it. You can never love it is foreign to you...why do you think Seimi died...hmmm...because you loved him and Loveless can not love." The words stung more than the slap did. I closed my eyes not wanting to believe that his words were true. The one behind me laughed, it was even colder than the other mans and suddenly I was let go and the two men had gone.I clutched the bags of food to my chest leaving behind the broken eggs my eyes stung with tears and cold wind. I dreaded going home but it was much to cool to stay out I would just have to avoid Soubi the best I could.

Soubi's POV

I was becoming restless. It was getting late and still Ritsuka hadn't come back. It wasn't like him to take this long. I wanted to get up but reminded myself that if I did that would be the moment Ristuka walked through the door and I would be in alot of trouble, so in bed I remained worried sick. About twenty minutes passed and I heard the lock click, a gust of cold wind and a door slaming. He was back, I was about to say something, when I noticed he didn't look all that good. He was hunched over his hair obscuing his face, there was an ever so slight limp in his step and his breathing was uneaven. That plus, he walked from the living room to the small kitchen without so much as looking at me. I heard the sound of things being put in diffrent cabinets and cuboards and the sound of supper starting...ok body time to forget about being tired and find out why my Ritsuka is totally avoiding me. I winced as my feet touched the cold hard wood floors. One hand on the wall for support and the other running throuh my tangeled hair I made my way to the kitchen. Ritsuka was standing by the cabnite chopping vegetables I still can't see his face, the chops are violent and swift as though he were taking his anger out on the carrot. I move behind him wrapping my arms around his waist laying my head on his shoulder. I felt him stiffen at my touch..something was so very wrong.

"Ritsuka, whats wrong love?" I asked but he didn't answer instead he just dropped the knife to the counter and stood there letttng me hold him. I could feel that he was shaking but it was ever so slightly I was lucky to pick up on it at all. I turned him around to look at me but his gaze feel quickly to his feet. Gently lifting his face up I took in an ugly bruise forming on his cheak, the missing bandages from around his neck and upon further more thurough inspection I reliezed that there was a bruise on his somache as well. The newly formed thorned markings around his neck were bleeding. He didn't say a word as I cleaned up the wounds on his neck yet again and made sure there were no life threating injuries. I turned away to put up the first aid kit when I heard a silent sob echo through the room, turning I saw him crying, abandoning the task of tidying up I took him in my arms and something happened that usally didn't. He clung, he clung for dear life as though he would die if he let me go. I wish I knew what had happened but he couldn't get words past the cries. So I held him there wasn't much I could do besides that. When he had calmed down he picked hisself up off me and turned away ashamed it seemed. I pulled him back onto me but he pulled away. Turning he faced me but he didn't look at me. So very odd.

"Soubi you love me right?" He asked suddenly I was taken back, what an odd question he should know that I love him.

"I love you more than life itself Ritsuka, you know that..." I told him my voice a contrast to his weak one.

"But how can you love me, no one can love Loveless." He said. My eyes grew wide this was something we had already been over and something we avoided talking about like the plague. Forcefully I pulled him to me not letting go not letting him pull away.

"I love you Loveless I will always love you, who did this to you Ritsuka, what happened?" I asked he was begining to relax into my embrace. But he was still relcutant to talk about what had happened, he knew that I was worried but it seemed even he didn't really understand what had happened. Sighing he closed his eyes and leaned back into me almost completly lying down.

"I was almost home, I only had a few more blocks to go, I felt as if I was being followed, I felt a battle system but it was only mocking me like it was saying we know your alone then when I turned the corner I was grabbed there were two men but I could only see one of them...he had cold blue eyes and short hair it was silver I think he was well dressed, he was the fighter I could feel it, I couldn't see the one holding me...he told me if I kept quite he wouldn't kill me he just wanted to see if the dream had worked what ever that means, my mouth got brave and I snapped at him and he punched me...I think I mentioned you somewhere admist the yelling, he laughed...he called you Beloved...he said...he said Seimi died because he loved me, and because I am Loveless...no one can ever love me...if you love me you'll die." When he finished there was a lone tear streaing down his face, and in my shock I couldn't kiss it away. Cold blue eyes and siliver hair well dressed and venom kisses...Ritsu-Sensei. He had attacked Ritsuka threating him and hurting him touching him. Part of my goal was to keep that vial man away from my fragile lover and who was the one with him. And he was never the fighter before things were getting twisted.

"I'm not trying to constrict your freedom, but I don't think its safe for you to go out by yourself anymore, that man I think I know who you are talking about and hes dangerous very dangerous so where ever you go outside this house I go with you from now on...at least untill these attacks and dreams stop." My hand finally moveing down to wipe his tears away. He nodded turning into me sleep weighing him down. I picked him up laying him in bed gently and covering him up. My mind was reeling. So many thing the apperance of the scars on my loves neck Ritsu-sensei's return. This was going to get bad, I had this feeling I was being watched by cold eyes again. I shook it off and cleaned up the mess. Turning to the kitchen I finished up the supper that Ritsuka had started. The knife dropped from my hand, my heart had litteraly stopped beating at the sight before me. Seimi, in my kitchen smirking at me, there was something diffrent about him though...his ears they were gone.

"Hello Soubi, its been a while." The voice came from behind me, I turned and was frozen...Ritsu-Sensei! He walked past me my body unwillingly turning with him. Each breath was like fire my eyes took a nervouse glance towards the living area, hopeing, praying that Ritsuka was still there. I heard Sensei's cold laugh it chilled me ever more than I already was. What I saw next sickened not only my gut but also my heart, Sensie walked next to Seimi who promptly wrapped a loveing, if such an emotion dwells in this demons heart, arm around his shoulders. It made me want to throw up. It made me want to scream and yell and throw things at them it made me hate them even more than I already had. Finally I found my voice.

"What are you doing here what do you want from us!" I was surprised to find that my voice was actually choked with emotion. Seimi smiled and moved close to me alomost touching but not quiet. Smiling he moved away, and went into the living area Ritsu followed, panicing I ran in after after them Ritsu was in the corner and Seimi was sitting on the bed loveingly stroking Ritsuka's ears. I pushed him away he was still smiling.

"You deny me the right to see my little brother?" He asked innocently. Moveing back next to Ritsu.

"You were the ones who hurt him, your the one who carved thorns in his throat, you don't have the right to even look at him." My voice was hushed but harsh. I didn't want to wake Ritsuka to this horrid sight.

"Rest assured Soubi my brother will be mine again, no force on this earth or any other will change that...but who knows maybe you'll be part of that happy little family too." He leaned in on me kissing me on my neck. I pushed him away, but he grabbed my hand pulling me into him. Ritsu came up behind me holding my hands securly behind my back. Cold hands on my face, brought my secure world to an end. Seimi was pressed so tightly against me I could feel his cold heart beating and I felt so many other things things that I didn't want to feel but I was. Things that when he was my sacrifice I would dream about but now it just disgust me it made me want to hit him. He pressed into me harder and I gasped...what was he doing..what was he going to do, slowly fear surficed in my mind, he knew he had complete control over me and he was useing that to his advantage. Faster and faster my heart beat grew, knowing that if he wanted he could do just about anything to me. Basically I was screwed and what of Ritsuka, was this what they had done to Ritsuka had they violated him like this? My heart was raceing, but my breathing was hitched. Shivers ran through my body. He was so close, closer than he had ever been when he was with me. Smiling he lay his head on my shoulder and pushed me, I felt Ritsu move and I conected with the wall, he was holding both of my hands pinning them to the wall, he was so close our bodys were touching every part of our bodys it was driving me mad. His breath was hot on my throat my breaths were deep suddenly as though I had been running, I could feel a wetness, and the room filled with the smell of blood. I knew from experiance that the scars on my neck were bleeding. There was a sudden sting of a slap across my face and the unmistakable feel of a fist in my gut and they were gone and I was on the floor out of breath and bleeding. The sound of me falling must have woken Ritsuka because I could here my name being called faintly. But my thoughts were still to mixed up to answer the poor boy.

Ritsuka's Pov

The sound of something hitting the floor woke me up, I don't even remember going to sleep, looking out across the dark room, I saw Soubi. He was on the floor breathing heavily and there was the smell of blood in the air. I sat up worried he looked so shaken.

"Soubi...Soubi can you hear me are you ok?" I asked but he didn't answer, I got out of the bed and knelt down beside him. He wouldn't look at me his eyes were wide with shock and were locked to the floor. His neck was bleeding from the thorns and the Beloved scar. I gently touched his face and he looked up at me, blinked a few times, and pulled me into him holding me so tightly one might think it was the last time he was ever going to touch me. I looked up at him pulling back a little bit, my shirt now thuroughly soaked in blood. His eyes were now looking at me in sorrow as though something had happened to me, but he was the one bleeding and freaking out. I got up and grabbed the first aid kit. Suddenly very glad we kept the thing fully stocked at all times. I wrapped up his wounds and sat him on the bed. I walked into the kitchen, it looks like he had started dinner where I had left off, and was interupted by something the knife was on the floor, I picked it up and put it in the sink. Pouring some tea I wondered how he had gotten from the kitchen to the living area in the state hes in at the moment. Walking back in the living room I gave him the tea he took a small sip and sat it aside. But I still hadn't figured out what had happened.

"What happened Soubi...whats wrong, your acting so strange." I sat down in his lap makeing him look up at me. He seemed so confused like a little lost child. Closeing his eyes he breathed in a deep sigh as though he were trying to collect his thoughts. When he opened them they wern't as confused or dazed as they had been, they were still shaken, but they were calm.

"We are not safe Ritsuka, there are forces at work that would destroy us given the chance...we must never leave each others side, never leave the room without one beside the other, if you wish to bathe tell me I will sit in the bathroom with you untill you are done, but we can never look away from each other." At first it seemed ridiculas but the amount of fear that was in Soubi's voice as heavy and thick as it was I believed him, every word of it I believed him, he hadn't told me exactly what had happened but something told me even if tried he wouldn't be able to put it into words. If something had scared my fighter my brave tall standing fighter this badly I wouldn't push him for the whole truth even if I wanted to. Instead I just nodded, he pulled me off his lap and onto the bed laying us both down. He wrapped his strong arms around me and I felt safe. And I felt guilty, he didn't have any one there to make him feel safe no one to wrap there arms around him and hold him tight when demons threatened the peace. He must have sensed how I felt. His arms tightened around me makeing me look up at him.

"You don't need to worry about me Ritsuka, I feel secure knowing that you are safe, thats all I need to be happy...you are all I need...all I will ever need." That seemed to relax me we both feel asleep in each others arms.

Little did they both know that there was a pair of cold eyes watching them, in blatant satisfaction, they had scared the great Soubi and his small lover, and they had planted the seed, only a little longer now a little longer and that peacful world of theirs was going to shatter around them in the most horriable way. Cold eyes shined with glee the deed was done.


	3. Senseless

**Chapter 3**

**Senseless**

Soubi's POV

Shuddering wakefulness, my body sat up quickly in fear, fear of what I wasn't quite sure. There was really nothing to be afraid of after all the only that I ever needed to live was tucked securly in my arms, sleeping soundly. My fear calms and my heart returns to normal. Lying back down my arms unconsiously tighten around my angel. My mind thinks back to all the good times we've shared, latter on in our relationship when he felt comfortable with being bold in public we would laugh at the looks old ladys would give us. They were always whispering and sighing, shakeing their heads as though we were sickly children who had brought it on ourselves. We would laugh so happily. Sighing I came out of my daydream, it was good to remember the good times in times of darkness. What was the meaning behind Seimi and Ritsu's return...and I thought Seimi was dead...was that just a set up as well. My head was starting to hurt quiet a bit. I stroked a bit of hair away from my loves face, a face that had long forgotten the smiles of happiness, for so long he was just an empty shell, with no emotion at all. What would happen when he learnt that Seimi was alive...would he actually go back to his brother...no I refuse to believe that he would do that, he is not evil. My thoughts shifted to what he had done last night, practically sexual harrasment...did he have Ritsu do that to Ritsuka, my thoughts raced with anger and I pulled my small love closer to me. My Ritsuka is sexually innocent, something like that proabally scared the living shit out of him. Hell it scared the living shit out of me. Things were getting twisted and what if they came back. How would I explain to Ritsuka that his brother was not dead and that he was seeking to destroy both of us. What had Seimi meant the there was nothing to stop his brother from returning to him. I didn't like that. I could not survive without my Ritsuka, he was my world I could lose everything and as long as I still had him thats all I need.

A sharp ringing peirced the silince makeing me jump and Ritsuka start. I glanced at the cell phone reaching out for it I was afraid to look to see who it was. Sighing in relief when I relized it was Kio. I answered it.

"Moshi, moshi." I said waiting for a responce. Ristsuka was stirring and stretching makeing me smile.

"Yes Kio I'm at home...hmm yes Ritsuka is here...why?" Ritsuka looked up at me sleep still heavy on his eyes.

"You want to come over...hmm oh thats right it is Ritsuka's birthday." He looked up startled and I smiled giving him a quick kiss...he blushed.

"Yes thats fine around two then it is, that'll be lovely." Kio's feelings had changed when it came to Ritsuka, he used to hate the boy with a passion, now he saw him as a little brother...he had hated him because I had loved him, but after a while when Kio relized that even though he was my closest friend I would never be able to love him as I did Ritsuka. He had given up on me and after a while he had fallen in love with another whom he has been dating for six years...another man...I think Yuki is his name, a quiet shy young man with great writing talents, he has long black hair and amethyst eyes that held a sort of sadness but when you see him and Kio on the street its like a love story.

"Yes you can bring Yuki hes always welcome here, your bringing the food fine by me I don't really feel like cooking ok then see you later Kio...you too...bye Kio." He still teased me all the time but it was just teasing anymore between friends though he could no longer call me a pedophile because Ritsuka was now nineteen, but he always thought up diffrent things to call me. I hung up the phone sitting it to the side. Smiling down at Ritsuka I gave him a kiss and he blushed yet agian.

"So Kio and Yuki are comeing by latter?" He asked looking at the clock wich was still unplugged. Glaring at it as though he expected it to plug itself in if he did, he sighed and turned to face me burrowing into the warmth of the bed and my chest. Giving a small laugh I stroked his ears, he leaned into the warm touch.

"We should really get up Ritsuka," He shook his head, he was content just to lie beside me, it made me happy but we should get up."I know we could take a bath!" That got his attention.

"As in together?" He asked befudeled. That wasn't exactly what I had in mind but the thought was better.

"Yes, will you as long as I promise not to do anything funny...please Ritsuka...please." I practically beg..its his fault hes the one who came up with the idea. He seemd to contemplate it for a while. Then looking at me with a sincer look and a small smile.

"You have to keep your promise this time Soubi, or you'll really regret it." My heart was soaring he was going to let me take a bath with him. I got up and pulled him up with me, he laughed and tripped over his own feet falling into me makeing us both fall to the ground. He landed on top of me, and for the third time that morning he blushed. I kissed his cheek and picked us both up off the floor. We walked to the bathroom in comfertable silence. As I brushed my hair and put it in a ponytail he filled the tub and got in. I smiled looking over at him he was lounging back his eyes closed as he enjoyed the warm water washing over his body...I was enjoying the sight as well. He opened one eye and looked at me smirking. I walked over with nothing but a towl on and he sat up indecating that I was to sit behind him. Fine by me I thought dropping the towl and getting in savoring the feel of the warm water, my muscels screamed with pleasure at the feel of it, it immediatly began to ease my tension. I sat back as Ritsuka had done and he lay back on me. True to promise I simply wrapped my amrs around his shoudlders, nuzzeling my face into his hair. His hair was always so soft I loved his hair, it was one of my Ritsuka fetishes...though at times I simply thought that Ritsuka himself was my fetish it would make sense.

"Hmm Soubi this was a good idea its relaxing." He says breaking the comfertable silnce. His voice was low and relaxed backing up his statement.

"Hmm I'm glad Ritsuka thought of it." I said giving him the credit he was due though he would probally only take it as one of my weird moment were I thought that anything good came from only him. Which he did he gave a small laugh and heaved a deep relaxed sigh. I sat him up a bit and began to wash his back, his head lolled to the side completely and totaly relaxed not moveing at all. If I wasn't careful the boy might fall back asleep. So being me I bent down a bit and gave him a tickilish kiss on the neck, he jerked around looking at me about to say something, but I caught his lips in a kiss before a single word was uttered. He gasped a bit but just smiled into the kiss. We parted and I smiled at him, his face was annoyed but it was in a loveing way.

"Soubi you baka." He said turning back around he moved away and turned to face me fully. He smiled evily and splashed water in my face. It caught me off gaurd and he knew it. Sputtering I looked up at him but my words caught in my throat when I saw him smiling at me, so perfect so innocent, eyes closed head cocked to the side he was beautiful. My breath shuddered out of my lungs love filling every part of me. He looked at me and knew he had me in his grip, his innocent deadly grip.

"Ritsuka is acting very strange this morning is there somthing you want in particular?" I asked trying to break away from my sudden bout of extream infatuation and captivity.

"Hmm Soubi I want you to kiss me, I want you to kiss me like its the last time we will ever kiss." He said his face his voice serious and for a moment it scared me. He wanted me to kiss him like I would never kiss him again. But I _would _kiss him again. But I obeyed him dispit being a little unsetteled by his unusal command. The kiss was deep and passionite and every emotion I felt was poured into it, love for my young master the fear from the other night my confusion from his command. And everything he felt was poured into me, love, trust, hope and there was fear he was afraid of something but not even he knew what it was. And there was desperation, he was desperate for this kiss the affermation that I did indeed love him, that even though he was loveless I would always love him, I could practically taste his want for love for the name of loveless to dissaper. It felt like we were stuck like that for hours and then there was a need to breath. We broke apart practically gasping for breath. He was looking down at the water...that was what he wanted to know that I did love him, and he wanted me to know that that had been on his mind. I smiled lifting his face up, and he smiled back at me.

"Lets gets dressed love Kio and Yuki will be here soon." I smile and he nods, we get out dryed off and got dressed. Sitting in the living room on the sofa we relax hes lying in my arms playing with my hair. He seems to be in deep thought. And with the frown set so deep I'm begining to wonder about what.

"Um Soubi are you ok...I mean better...because well I mean...last night...you seemed so scared...so out of it I was really worried." He looked up at me. So thats what he was thinking about. He was worried about me...for some reason that made me warm on the inside.

"I'm better now Ritsuka, thank you for your concern." I really want to avoid this conversation, and at that moment theres a knock on the door. I have never loved Kio this much. Ritsuka looked at the door for a moment and removed himself from the sofa to open the door, the whole time my eyes on him, he had grown much taller hes still shorter than me though. Sometimes when I'm just wakeing up or the light hits him just right he does look like his brother and it unsettles me but then he will move and look at me with those large innocent eyes those loveing eyes and all thoughts of Seimi are gone, because Seimi's eyes never held love. Pulling myself out of that I watch him look out the little peep hole and unlock the door, he barely had the knob turned before the door burst open and he was tackled to the ground by Kio, Yuki walking in politely behind him.

"Ah Ritsuka-kun Happy Birthday I brought cake!" He said still hugging the young man tightly around the neck...still on the floor. I move to take the parcills of food frim Yuki and watch with an amused look as Ritsuka vainly tries to remove Kio's larger body from his own. I know from experiance that it take a considerable amount of force to get Kio to budge unless he wants to.

"I am glad to see Kio as well but Kio I can't breath." Ritsuka choked out only causeing Kio to laugh even more. I shook my head and thought it safe to turn my back for a minute to lay the food down. Turning back I saw that Kio was now tickiling Ritsuka who, between his insane fits of laughter, was glaring at Kio. Yuki stood to the side he small grin on his face. Ritsuka's face was turning red from the laughter and I hated to admit it but I was just happy to see him laughing. Finally Kio stopped.

"Hmm Ritsuka-kun you smell good today." Kio said getting up off the poor boy I helped Ritsuka to his feet praying that Kio didn't also attack me.

"That was quite a greeting Kio maybe you should't have such a long period of absence between visits." I say my hands resting lightly on Ritsuka's shoulders, who is still promptly glaring at Kio in a way that said I will get you back. I knew Ritsuka, Kio was going to regret what he had just done.

"Maybe your right Soubi...anyway you remember Yuki of coarse and you know me so lets have cake." He said taking Yuki's hand sitting him down on the other sofa loveingly. We talked over cake and I could see Ritsuka silently planning a way to get Kio back. This might get a little dirty. When everyone was finished Ritsuka was takeing up the plates he got to Kio and I watched in utter amusment as a plate of cake and icecream hit the older man in the face and fell to into his lap, I snorted with laughter and Yuki had a hand over his mouth stiffiling his. Ritsuka quickly grabbed the plates and stuffed them in the garbage sitting next to me to avoid Kio.

"You little brat!" Kio said wiping cake out of his eyes. Ritsuka stuck his tounge out at Kio and clung to me, telling me silently 'Don't let him touch me.' I smiled I wouldn't let Kio touch him, he was my Ritsuka after all. Yuki handed Kio a towl and helped him get the cake from his hair and face...all the time laughing and being glared at by Kio.

"You brought it on yourself love you know that." Yuki said softly. As he loveingly sewpt the last few of the cake crumbs from Kio's hair. Kio glared at Ritsuka a moment more and smiled.

"Your good brat...though you arn't really a brat anymore...you know your the same age Soubi was when he first met up with you at your school seven years." Kio said makeing me think, he was right, how very odd. Ritsuka blinked really thinking about it and smiled. Kio started another very intrestion conversation about pickles and my mind wandered off. I was absentmindly staring at Yuki but not really seeing him, untill that is a felt a hand on my own.

"Are you ok Soubi?" It was Risuka's voice I blinked actually seeing the young man infront of me and every one staring at me.

"Hm I'm sorry I was thinking about something, my apolagies." I nodded at Yuki who nodded back Kio was staring at me funny, he had ben my friend long enough to know something was up.

"I think I'll make some tea, would you mind helping me Yuki?" He looked at the other man.

"Oh no not at all, it would give Kio and Soubi some time to catch up as well." Ok I got that apparently Kio wanted to talk to me, Yuki knew this without Kio telling him, the bond they shared was amazing deeper than most Fighter and Sacrifice couples. I watched them leave the room and turned to Kio.

"What happened to him Soubi, his neck in bandages and a bruise on his cheek, don't think I haven't noticed." He said he voice was serious and his eyes were dark.

"I hope your not insunuating that _I _did those things to Ritsuka, Kio." My voice was dark I _would not_ be accused of harming Ritsuka I would never do something like that to him.

"No Soubi I would never accuse you of abuseing Ritsuka, but I would like to know what happened to him." Kio's voice was lighter now. He moved to sit next to me showing me I guess that he was my friend that he as there for me.

"He was jumped on the way home from the store and well Kio, he had a nightmare in which he doesn't remember what happened but he awoke with the same marking around his neck that I have around mine." I told him my voice was small and I was suddenly filled with the need to tell somebody what had happened, so slowly I told him in some weird way all that had happened up to Seimi and Ritsu's departure last night. When I was done my voice was actuallt choked with emotion. Kio had my hand in his.

"Soubi have you told Ritsuka what happened?" He asked his voice soothing trying to calm me down. I shook my head I couldn't tell Ritsuka that his brother was alive, this his brother was trying to break us apart that there was a chance that his brother was trying to kill us. There was no way to tell my love all this it would tear him apart.

"What they did to you what they could have done to Ritsuka this is serious Soubi." Kio said. I nodded sighing, the sound of glass hitting the floor starteled us both.

"Ritsuka-kun are you ok," A voice yelled." Soubi, Kio quick something is wrong with Ritsuka-kun!" Yuki's voice was panicked I was up before Kio knew what was happened, I was in the kitchen. Yuki was staring he couldn't move there was a shattered glass on the floor and Ritsuka was also on the floor his head in his hands screaming but the scream was silent. His breathing was labored.

"Ritsuka...Ritsuka can you hear me love RITSUKA!" I was yelling but couldn't hear me. Kio was holding Yuki who was freaking out. I bent to be next to him still none the wiser as to what was going on.

"Soubi...help me SOUBI!" He yelled and fell back landing in the shattered glass quickly I picked him up holding him to me. His eyes had rolled into the back of his head and there was a strange gurgling sound comeing from him.

"There...I see...I see...FIRE...theres fire Soubi fire...SEIMI...no stop Seimi stop...SEIMI!" He jerked forward almost causing me to lose my grip on him. He was shaking violently now and my heart was breaking seeing him like this. Seimi haunting his dreams. And then it stopped he went limp and fell back in my arms, I was fighting back tears. Picking him up I took him him to the living area and lay him on the Sofa, Kio and Yuki following timidly. I turned to Kio.

"Would you mind picking up the glass and stuff I don't want to leave his side?" I asked him my voice sounded hollow even to me. Kio nodded moveing back into the kitchen. Yuki knelt down beside me and Ritsuka.

"W-what happened to him?" He asked his voice timid as though I would be angry at him for asking...I smiled a small sad smile down at him.

"I don't know Yuki it...it...I don't know." Soubi said. Kio came back into the room and looked sadly upon the young neko-boy.

"Its cleaned up in there I think we had better be going but Soubi if anything happens anything at all, I want you to contact me immeditatly." He was serious his eyes were soft. He could tell I was in pain becuase of this...I had every right to be. I couldn't say anything so I nodded my head and Kio bent down giving me a swift friendly kiss on the cheek and turned to Yuki. He smiled at me one last time and they left, hand in hand, worry pulsating from their very being. I wasn't to sure what I should do about this...this thing. So ever so gently I picked up my small love and carried him to the bed, sitting just so he was laying on me. His breathing had returned to normal, but it was all but normal. I could feel tears manifesting there hot wet selves in my eyes, and for once in my life I didn't push them away. How could I when the love of my life lay in such agony. A strained voice broke through my pain.

"S-soubi?" It asked feebly, I smiled down at him, it was all I could think to do.

"Are you feeling better my love?" I asked him, hopeing he couldn't read the lingering tightness in my voice or the redness in my eyes.

"I-I don't know what happened I...you were crying." His small hand touch my cheek gently, loveingly. I find it amazing that he can find compassion and love for another in a situatation such as this. It pains me to think, that what he saw in his nightmare might have actually been a vison of the future.

"I was worried for you my love." I was glad to see that there was no actual lingering fear in his eyes, but I could feel it in his heart.

"You cried...for me...oh Soubi I am so sorry I worried you." He pulled me to him in a tight embrace and I felt the tears well up again but these I refused to shed. I had to be strong I was the fighter, I had to be the wall for my sacrifice for my lover for my Ritsuka.

"Can you tell me what you remembered of the dream love, it would help you to sort things out." My voice was muffled by Ritsuka's hair, longer than it used to be it fell to about the length of my own. Ritsuka leaned from me avoiding my eyes, he was ashamed of his weakness, as that was what it was in his eyes but to me it was something else maybe I couldn't put a name to it like he wanted but it was far from weakness.Lifting his chin I looked deep into his eyes brushing my lips against his softly, giving him reassurance that I was there for him and no force on this world or any other would change that. Okay maybe that was a bit cliche but it was true, our whole life was turning out to be a cliche romance novel.

"All I can remember," Came the mumbled begining. "Is a fire, much like the one Seimi died in, but Seimi wasn't there, in the chair; it was...it was...you and then I saw Seimi and that silver haired guy that jumped me watching us as the fire raged and they were laughing at us enjoying our pain...Soubi I don't think Seimi is dead." He told me seriously.

"I believe your right my love." He looked like he was about to cry. He had guessed the truth I had not yet told him, he knew even if he denied it that Seimi's only goal was to kill us. Or maybe have us kill each other, that sounded more like Seimi the more I thought about it. I think Ritsuka could feel or see my thoguhts because he looked up at me in horror voicing my thoughts.

"You think he will have us kill each other...does he have that power?" I couldn't answer for fear I would lose my composure but I could hold him feeding him my answer through all that I was he learnt the truth all that had happened the night before my fears and my worried, even my regret that this was indeed happening, I felt him shifting though the thoughts in my head. And suddenly I heard his voice; _'Will he take you from me Soubi, is that how he plans to destroy us, to order you to kill me?' _ I mentaly kissed him and physicaly tightened my grip on him. _'Ritsuka I would kill myself before I even thought about killing you.'_ And I could see in Ritsuka's mind a replay of the first day he dreamnt about a darker fire.

Flahsback

_'Soubi if Seimi came back to life and ordered you to kill me would you do it?' The younger mans voice was small but the question was signifcant I turn confused and startled._

_'Seimi...is dead.' That was always my way out of things answer the what ifs logically._

_'Thats why I said IF," He was angry and I ignored him, it was better to ignor now he grew frustrated and grabbed my coat shaking me slightly."Answer me Soubi, you'd kill me right?' The anger mixed with sadness and desperation in his voice proved to much for my walls I looked away in regret._

_'Probally...'Came my answer. My coat was released and there was a sharp intake of the cold air, I could feel Ritsuka's heart breaking along with my own, and then his heart broken voice speaking those empty words._

_'I knew it.' Was all he said and the he began to run past me, back into his fortress that I had been trying to break down. I grabbed his arms and he turned to me slightly._

_'What is it?' He struggled to get me to relesase him._

_Ritsuka..'I began but was interuptted._

_'No I don't want to hear your exuses.' His vioce was choked on tears._

_'If that day ever came I would die first because...I couldn't imagen a life without my Ritsuka.' That seemed to shock him more than the orginal answer to his question._

_'Baka.' He said and I could feel a tear at the corner of my eye my first ever tear when it came to pain._

End Flashback

"I believed you then and I believe you know, but Soubi I order you not to die, on my, or anyone elses behalf...is that understood?" I nodded glad to be out of the memory it cause me pain for some weird reason that night I felt as though we were being watched.

"Are you still hungry I could fix us something love." My thought was random but it lightened the mood considerably. My love nodded his head and clung to me tighter not wanting to be separate from me. I held him it was all I could think to do was to hold him. It was the only logically thing that could possiably be happeing.

"Soubi," Came my Ritsuka's voice it was slightly pained and I tightened my grip on him." I don't want Seimei to take you away from me, I would die if you wern't here beside me." If it had been possiable fot me to hold him any tighter I would have.

"I won't let him do that love, I'm not his anymore and I have this feeling that I never really was his to begin with." It seemed logical. How could I love someone else besides my sacrfice...unless of course the sacrifice was never mine to begin with. So many odd questions began popping into my mind.

"I mean it if he took you from me I would die...I would die without you, I would kill myself if I didn't have you." For some reason his words scared me. And I knew that he was telling the truth, but it was as though he was predicting the future. I didn't want him to die.

"Don't say that love...it scares me." I confessed and he gave me a small smiled. I loved him so much. The unbearable thought of him dieing was tearing at my soul. It terrified me beyond what words could explain. A almost physical grip on my heart, a firey hand that held it in a tight forever hotter grip and wouldn't let go. My soul and my body was desperate, I need my Ritsuka I couldn't lose especially not to Seimei. I pulled back from him a bit and kissed him, with passion. He gasped a bit in surprise at first. But he seemed to be feeling the need as well, because he kissed back with a passion to match. I ran my hand a long the small of his back. Not going past my boundries. I knew where to stop unless he told me to go further, which had never happened.I knew that when my Ritsuka was ready he would tell me. I pressed my tongue against his lips seeking entrance, which he granted immediatly. A boundry we had long ago passed. When he kissed me I found it amazing that he fit me so perfectly. We fought for dominice, I won in the end and he smiled into the kiss, running his small hands through my hair. I moved to the delicate skin of his neck, sucking and licking. He tossed his head back at the touch and I smiled giving him a small bite. He cried out in surprise, and I licked the angry mark in apology. Moving back up I captured his lips passionitly and flipped over putting him under me. He smiled running his hands along my shoulder blades, he was being very bold. My hands stroked the curve of his hips and up his ribs eventually reaching his hair and rubbing gently at the base of his adorable ears. Finaly we broke apart smiling at each other.Out of breath, in a move I wouldn't normally make I moved down a bit and laid my head on his small, compact chest. Closing my eyes I listened to his heartbeat. For some strange reason it made me calm. It was a reassurance that he was still alive, still here with me. He was still mine and nothing was going to change that. I felt a smile in his heart. And a gentle hand ran through my hair. There was a love between us that neither of us had ever known. No words were need for us to get the emotions we felt across. He knew by the simpil act of me lying on him, that at the moment I just needed to be close to him, to have him next to me. He was everything to me. I could feel his love for me as well. And I could feel his fear. I knew he was afriad he was going to lose me. That something that was going to happen to break us apart. I was afraid of that aswell. But I wouldn't let him feel my fear. I had to be strong for him. I was his pillar. I had to be, no one else would. Seimei used to be, but his brother is bent on destruction now and I have this feeling he will be doing nothing to comfort his younger brother.

"I love you Soubi...you know that right?" His voice startled me. I had been lost in my own world and I though he had drifted off.

"I know that love...and I love you as well, stop worrying about things for a little bit lets just take it easy, if just for this moment...lets pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist." Id the world _didn't_ exist I couldn't be happier. Ritsuka was my life, I need nothing else for happiness.

"Yes but if Seimei is back, doesn't that mean that you'll go back to him?" His voice was so small I could barely hear him, his words pained me.

"No love I won't go back to him, I used to think I would but I won't I do not and never did love Semei the way I love you." His massageing hands stoped on my back and I could feel tiny digits digging into my back. I looked up at him. He was staring at the wall, silent tears running down his face, and from the look he had though it was slight, he was angry he couldn't stop the tears. But that look was overcome by the grief and fear that rested in his beautiful eyes. Moveing up I kissed the tears away.

"I will not leave you Ritsuka, and whatever comes to pass we will get through, and we will be strong." He nodded. Fighting back more tears. It made me hate Seimei even more."Lets go to sleep babe." He nodded and I sat up off of him. He moved to his side of the bed slipping off his shirt and changing into a pair of shorts he had found on the floor. I did the same but put on my sleep pants instead. I lay down behind him. He lay on his back only have way covered up. I ran a pale hand through his hair. He closed his eyes at the contact. I moved my hands to his stomache. Over the many scares that lay there, symbols of the many years of torture he suffered from living with his mother. At first he had been very self consious about the scares but he was practically oblivious to them now. He gave a sigh and I could feel his breathinng even out. He was drifting off. I was to afriad to go to sleep afriad Seimei would still the love of my life from under my arms. I never wanted to sleep again I just wanted to protect him. My beautiful lover. My Fallen Angel.


End file.
